Who’s The Most Improved Pinball Player?

My love just completed a season as head of a competitive pinball league. People find this an enchanting fact. People find competitive pinball at all enchanting. Many didn’t know pinball was still around, much less big enough to have regular competitions.

Pinball’s in great shape compared to, say, the early 2000s. There’s one major manufacturer. There’s a couple of small manufacturers who are well-organized enough to make a string of games without (yet) collapsing from not knowing how to finance game-building. Many games go right to private collections. But the “barcade” model of a hipster bar with a bunch of pinball machines and, often, video games is working quite well right now. We’re fortunate to live in Michigan. All the major cities in the lower part of the state have pretty good venues and leagues in or near them. We’re especially fortunate to live in Lansing, so that most of these spots are within an hour’s drive, and all of them are within two hours’ drive.

Ah, but how do they work? Many ways, but there are a couple of popular ones. My love’s league uses a scheme that surely has a name. In this scheme everybody plays their own turn on a set of games. Then they get ranked for each game. So the person who puts up the highest score on the game Junkyard earns 100 league points. The person who puts up the second-highest score on Junkyard earns 99 league points. The person with the third-highest score on Junkyard earns 98 league points. And so on, like this. If 20 people showed up for the day, then the poor person who bottoms out earns a mere 81 league points for the game.

This is a relative ranking, yes. I don’t know any competitive-pinball scheme that uses more than one game that doesn’t rank players relative to each other. I’m not sure how an alternative could work. Different games have different scoring schemes. Some games try to dazzle with blazingly high numbers. Some hoard their points as if giving them away cost them anything. A score of 50 million points? If you had that on Attack From Mars you would earn sympathetic hugs and the promise that life will not always be like that. (I’m not sure it’s possible to get a score that low without tilting your game away.) 50 million points on Lord of the Rings would earn a bunch of nods that yeah, that’s doing respectably, but there’s other people yet to play. 50 million points on Scared Stiff would earn applause for the best game anyone had seen all year. 50 million points on The Wizard of Oz would get you named the Lord Mayor of Pinball, your every whim to be rapidly done.

And each individual manifestation of a table is different. It’s part of the fun of pinball. Each game is a real, physical thing, with its own idiosyncrasies. The flippers are a little different in strength. The rubber bands that guard most things are a little harder or softer. The table is a little more or less worn. The sensors are a little more or less sensitive. The tilt detector a little more forgiving, or a little more brutal. Really the least unfair way to rate play is comparing people to each other on a particular table played at approximately the same time.

It’s not perfectly fair. How could any real thing be? It’s maddening to put up the best game of your life on some table, and come in the middle of the pack because everybody else was having great games too. It’s some compensation that there’ll be times you have a mediocre game but everybody else has a lousy one so you’re third-place for the night.

Back to league. Players earn these points for every game played. So whoever has the highest score of all on, say, Attack From Mars gets 100 league points for that regardless of whatever they did on Junkyard. Whoever has the best score on Iron Maiden (a game so new we haven’t actually played it during league yet, and that somehow hasn’t got an entry on the Internet Pinball Database; give it time) gets their 100 points. And so on. A player’s standings for the night are based on all the league points earned on all the tables played. For us that’s usually five games. Five or six games seems about standard; that’s enough time playing and hanging out to feel worthwhile without seeming too long.

So each league night all the players earn between (about) 420 and 500 points. We have eight league nights. Add the scores up over those league nights and there we go. (Well, we drop the lowest nightly total for each player. This lets them miss a night for some responsibility, like work or travel or recovering from sickness or something, without penalizing them.)

As we got to the end of the season my love asked: is it possible to figure out which player showed the best improvement over time?

Well. I had everybody’s scores from every night played. And I’ve taken multiple classes in statistics. Why would I not be able to?


Author: Joseph Nebus

I was born 198 years to the day after Johnny Appleseed. The differences between us do not end there.

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