nebusresearch
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Joseph Nebus's work in progress.Fri, 20 Jul 2018 02:08:25 +0000enhourly1http://wordpress.com/https://s0.wp.com/i/buttonw-com.pngnebusresearch
https://nebusresearch.wordpress.com
Reading the Comics, July 14, 2018: County Fair Edition
https://nebusresearch.wordpress.com/2018/07/19/reading-the-comics-july-14-2018-county-fair-edition/
https://nebusresearch.wordpress.com/2018/07/19/reading-the-comics-july-14-2018-county-fair-edition/#commentsThu, 19 Jul 2018 18:00:20 +0000http://nebusresearch.wordpress.com/?p=5558Continue reading "Reading the Comics, July 14, 2018: County Fair Edition"]]>https://nebusresearch.wordpress.com/2018/07/19/reading-the-comics-july-14-2018-county-fair-edition/feed/2nebusresearchBlackboard with 'a^2 x 333 / E - MC^2 = 1,333' on it. Nerd: 'Ah! See, I've proved it!' Bully: 'That's nice, now let's step outside and settle this like men.'Emmy Lou, looking over her homework, and complaining to her mother: 'Mathematics in itself isn't so hard! It's all these figures ... 'Numerals, sweating as a suspenseful scene in a numerals movie: a 9 whistling happily, unsuspecting that a 0 is sneaking into the room and carrying a x sign.Teacher: 'Here's today's brainteaser. Can you add just one line to this equation to fix it?' [ 5 + 5 + 5 + 5 = 555 ] Nancy: 'Yep.' (She scribbles a line across the whole equation.)Quincy's Grandmother: 'Who has been your favorite teacher this year, Quincy?' Quincy: 'Well, Mrs Glover sure has made arithmetic relevant. Like this problem. If your pants need a new patch every month ... how many patches would you have in a year and a half?!'I Don’t Have Any Good Ideas For Finding Cube Roots By Trigonometry
https://nebusresearch.wordpress.com/2018/07/17/i-dont-have-any-good-ideas-for-finding-cube-roots-by-trigonometry/
https://nebusresearch.wordpress.com/2018/07/17/i-dont-have-any-good-ideas-for-finding-cube-roots-by-trigonometry/#respondTue, 17 Jul 2018 18:00:53 +0000http://nebusresearch.wordpress.com/?p=5549Continue reading "I Don’t Have Any Good Ideas For Finding Cube Roots By Trigonometry"]]>https://nebusresearch.wordpress.com/2018/07/17/i-dont-have-any-good-ideas-for-finding-cube-roots-by-trigonometry/feed/0nebusresearchReading the Comics, July 11, 2018: GoComics Hardly Needs Me Edition
https://nebusresearch.wordpress.com/2018/07/15/reading-the-comics-july-11-2018-gocomics-hardly-needs-me-edition/
https://nebusresearch.wordpress.com/2018/07/15/reading-the-comics-july-11-2018-gocomics-hardly-needs-me-edition/#respondSun, 15 Jul 2018 18:00:03 +0000http://nebusresearch.wordpress.com/?p=5543Continue reading "Reading the Comics, July 11, 2018: GoComics Hardly Needs Me Edition"]]>https://nebusresearch.wordpress.com/2018/07/15/reading-the-comics-july-11-2018-gocomics-hardly-needs-me-edition/feed/0nebusresearchDethany standing, in perspective, on a white surface with black curves traced on. The camera pulls out, revealing more and more curves, until they finally form an outline of her boss, Rose Trellis. Cut to the actual meeting, where Dethany is listening to Trellis speak. Dethany thinks: 'If only there was a topographic map showing how high a priority this is to her ... 'Hazel, sitting at a table, with a bunch of society women, as she works a calculator: ' ... making a total of $77.60. Fifteen percent for the tip, divided four ways ... 'Wavehead entering class: 'My dad said to tell you that geometry is squaresville. I don't understand what that means but he assured me that was comedy gold.'Dad: 'Joe, I gave you a five-dollar bill. The ice cream sandwich was a dollar fifty. How much change do you owe me?' Joe: 'Dad, you KNOW I don't like math. It's got so many problems!'[ Toonie Excelsior Cornstarch thought green tea would make him smarter. ] Cornstarch: 'Also greener! And that's th'color of money! And most algae!' [ He downed 20 to 30 bottles of the stuff every day. ] Cornstarch: 'I already understand ALGEBRA! It comes from aliens!' [ Soon he began to think he knew everything about everything ... even quantum physics. ] Cornstarch: 'Dark matter just got much lighter!' [ But, being a TOONIE, he couldn't get a job at MIT, so he took to the streets to protest. That's when he was arrested by the INCORRECT SPELLING POLICE. ] (Cop dressed in a blend of Zippy the Pinhead gown and Keystone Cops uniform has his hand on the naked Cornstarch, who wears the sign 'MY ELEKTRONS CAN BEAT YOUR FOTONS!'Reading the Comics, July 7, 2018: Mutt and Jeff Relettering Scandal Edition
https://nebusresearch.wordpress.com/2018/07/12/reading-the-comics-july-7-2018-mutt-and-jeff-relettering-scandal-edition/
https://nebusresearch.wordpress.com/2018/07/12/reading-the-comics-july-7-2018-mutt-and-jeff-relettering-scandal-edition/#commentsThu, 12 Jul 2018 18:00:15 +0000http://nebusresearch.wordpress.com/?p=5535Continue reading "Reading the Comics, July 7, 2018: Mutt and Jeff Relettering Scandal Edition"]]>https://nebusresearch.wordpress.com/2018/07/12/reading-the-comics-july-7-2018-mutt-and-jeff-relettering-scandal-edition/feed/7nebusresearchLucy, going out in twilight with a pencil and sheet of paper: 'I'm going to count all the stars even if it kills me! People say I'm crazy, but I know I'm not , and that's what counts! I think I'll just sit here until it gets dark. This way I can take my time counting the stars. I'll mark 'em down as they come out. HA! There's the first one ... dum te ta te dum. There's another one. Two, three, four ... this is a cinch. Five, six, oh oh! SevenEightNineTen ... ElevenTwelveThirteen Oh, MY! They're coming out all over! SLOW DOWN! 21, 22, 23, 24, ... 35, 35, 40! Whew! (Gasp, gasp!) 41, 42 ... ' (Defeated Lucy sitting on the curb, exhausted, beneath the night sky.) 'Rats!'Professor: 'Suppose you want to kill a baker. But, if you kill him, a bunch of starving people will get access to his bread. Should you do it anyway?' Caption: 'All moral dilemmas can be rephrased as evil-maximization problems.'Jeff: 'You're such a fool, I'll bet you can't solve this simple problem!' Mutt: 'Which problem?' Jeff: 'If five men can eat a ham in five minutes, how long it will take ten men to eat that same ham?' Mutt: 'Well, some people eat slower.' Jeff: 'See? You just can't do it!' Mutt: 'Neither can you! It can't be solved!' Jeff: 'You say it can't be solved? Why?' Mutt: 'Because the first five men have ALREADY eaten the ham!'Teacher: 'Can you tell me how many triangles are in this diagram?' (It's an equilateral triangle, divided into thirds horizontally, and with the angle up top trisected, so that there are nine discrete figures inside.) Nancy, with a dozen scraps of used paper strewn around: 'Can you tell me how many pages we have to waste trying to solve this accursed puzzle?'How To Calculate A Square Root By A Method You Will Never Actually Use
https://nebusresearch.wordpress.com/2018/07/10/how-to-calculate-a-square-root-by-a-method-you-will-never-actually-use/
https://nebusresearch.wordpress.com/2018/07/10/how-to-calculate-a-square-root-by-a-method-you-will-never-actually-use/#commentsTue, 10 Jul 2018 18:00:31 +0000http://nebusresearch.wordpress.com/?p=5528Continue reading "How To Calculate A Square Root By A Method You Will Never Actually Use"]]>https://nebusresearch.wordpress.com/2018/07/10/how-to-calculate-a-square-root-by-a-method-you-will-never-actually-use/feed/3nebusresearchReading the Comics, July 3, 2018: Fine, Jef Mallett Wants My Attention Edition
https://nebusresearch.wordpress.com/2018/07/08/reading-the-comics-july-3-2018-fine-jef-mallett-wants-my-attention-edition/
https://nebusresearch.wordpress.com/2018/07/08/reading-the-comics-july-3-2018-fine-jef-mallett-wants-my-attention-edition/#commentsSun, 08 Jul 2018 18:00:06 +0000http://nebusresearch.wordpress.com/?p=5526Continue reading "Reading the Comics, July 3, 2018: Fine, Jef Mallett Wants My Attention Edition"]]>https://nebusresearch.wordpress.com/2018/07/08/reading-the-comics-july-3-2018-fine-jef-mallett-wants-my-attention-edition/feed/3nebusresearchKid: 'Mom, Dad, I want to go bungee jumping this summer!' Dad: 'A thousand monkeys working a thousand typewriters would have a better chance of randomly typing the complete works of William Shakespeare over the summer than you have of bungee jumping.' (Awksard pause.) Kid: 'What's a typewriter?' Dad: 'A thousand monkeys randomly TEXTING!'Frazz: 'You know what I like? Fermat's last theorem.' Jane: 'Do you even understand it?' Frazz: 'Nope. And neither do you. To paraphrase Mark Twain, we live in a world where too many people don't know what they don't know. With Fermat's Last Theorem, we can all agree on something we don't know.' Jane: 'Nice. Except how many people have ever heard of Fermat's Last Theorem?' Frazz: '2,125,420,566.' Jane: 'You don't know that.' Frazz: 'I know!'Ralph: 'Whatcha doin', Oliver?' Oliver: 'Trying to find the square root of 8,765,510.' Ralph: 'Where did you lose it? Randy and I will help you find it!'At the bar. Harley's Friend: 'I've done the math. You won't make it across the canyon without a good ramp, Harley! You need a quadrilateral with exactly one pair of parallel sides. You'll be riding into a trap ... ezoid.' Harley, in jail, to the sheriff: 'Who knew a calculator could go that far up his nose.'Reading the Comics, June 29, 2018: Chuckle and Breakfast Cereal Edition
https://nebusresearch.wordpress.com/2018/07/06/reading-the-comics-june-29-2018-chuckle-and-breakfast-cereal-edition/
https://nebusresearch.wordpress.com/2018/07/06/reading-the-comics-june-29-2018-chuckle-and-breakfast-cereal-edition/#respondFri, 06 Jul 2018 18:00:22 +0000http://nebusresearch.wordpress.com/?p=5519Continue reading "Reading the Comics, June 29, 2018: Chuckle and Breakfast Cereal Edition"]]>https://nebusresearch.wordpress.com/2018/07/06/reading-the-comics-june-29-2018-chuckle-and-breakfast-cereal-edition/feed/0nebusresearchKid: 'Do we have enough money to go to the movie?' Todd: 'Let's see! You ahve four dollars and I have three dollars. That's seven. The movie is twelve dollars for both of us. So twelve take away seven is ... *GASP* Oh no! I accidentally did math!' Kid: 'So?' Todd: 'This is SUMMER!' Kid: 'I don't even know you!'Professor-type in front of a class labelled Rocket Science 101: 'Doesn't ANYBODY understand this stuff?'Caption: 'Nobody liked Bertrand Russell's scavenger hunts.' Items to find: 'The list of all lists that do not list themselves. (List here).'News anchor: 'In a cruel, bizarre twist of fate, this week's $1 million winning lotto number 579281703 was shared by exactly one million people. In other news ... ' (The person watching the news has a lottery ticket number 579281703.)What I Learned This Year. Kid: 'Um ... you can divide a number by 3 if the sum of its digits can be divided by 3.' [ Later ] Frazz: 'So, what'd you learn this year?' Kid: 'Don't go last on what-I-learned-this-year day.'Michael: 'Grandma broke out the math workbooks!' Gabby: 'She does this every summer!' (They hide behind a tree.) Gabby: 'Says she doesn't want us to forget what we learned during the school year.' Michael: 'She has a point. We do need to keep our homework-avoidance skills sharp.'Greek: 'Why are you the wisest man, Socrates?' Socrates: 'Because I know one thing: that I know nothing.' Greek: 'That's all you know?' Socrates: 'I mean strictly speaking ... ' Greek: 'What about the infinite universe of analytic statements, like if A = A then A = A?' Socrates: 'Okay yeah That stuff. Just that.' Greek: 'Just ALL of math.' (Pause.) Greek: 'Sorry, did I make you sad?' Socrates: 'I can't be certain, but probably.'How June 2018 Treated My Mathematics Blog
https://nebusresearch.wordpress.com/2018/07/03/how-june-2018-treated-my-mathematics-blog/
https://nebusresearch.wordpress.com/2018/07/03/how-june-2018-treated-my-mathematics-blog/#respondTue, 03 Jul 2018 18:00:54 +0000http://nebusresearch.wordpress.com/?p=5510Continue reading "How June 2018 Treated My Mathematics Blog"]]>https://nebusresearch.wordpress.com/2018/07/03/how-june-2018-treated-my-mathematics-blog/feed/0nebusresearchJune 2018, Views: 1,077. Visitors: 681. Views per visitor: 1.58. There should also be a listing that there were 12 posts.Reading the Comics, June 27, 2018: Stitch Day Edition
https://nebusresearch.wordpress.com/2018/07/01/reading-the-comics-june-27-2018-stitch-day-edition/
https://nebusresearch.wordpress.com/2018/07/01/reading-the-comics-june-27-2018-stitch-day-edition/#commentsSun, 01 Jul 2018 18:00:16 +0000http://nebusresearch.wordpress.com/?p=5507Continue reading "Reading the Comics, June 27, 2018: Stitch Day Edition"]]>https://nebusresearch.wordpress.com/2018/07/01/reading-the-comics-june-27-2018-stitch-day-edition/feed/7nebusresearchMan sitting behind an upside-down desk, to a person standing on a horizontal wall-with-window: 'Hang on --- I've almost got it.' Caption: Rubik's Cubicle.Boy (Billy), playing chess with Cow: 'I hate it when people say they're giving a hundred and ten percent. I mean, how is that even possible? Wouldn't you be trying so hard that your body couldn't contain the extra ten percent of effort and your head would explode?' Cow: 'Check mate!' [ Cow's head explodes. ] Boy: 'OK, but I was only giving it like 35 percent.' Headless Cow: 'Darn.'Student presenting 'What I Learned This Year': 'Writing rewards creativity while math rewards a disciplined pursuit of a single right answer.' Later, Frazz: 'So, what'd you learn this year?' Student: 'Apparently we don't learn how to fudge the numbers until business school.'Horace, reading the newspaper: 'Your horoscope: you will be positively surprised.' A giant + sign drops from the sky, barely missing Horace.Mathematics instructor: 'Here we have a graph which embodies a stochastic process. Now, we perform a random walk on the graph for n steps and --- HEY! [ Curses ] The graph went out for McNuggets!' (The graph looks faintly more like a person, has a basket of McNuggets, and is saying, 'Nuggs nuggs nuggie nuggie nugg WOOH! God you're so hot.'In Which I Learn A Thing About Non-Euclidean Geometries
https://nebusresearch.wordpress.com/2018/06/28/in-which-i-learn-a-thing-about-non-euclidean-geometries/
https://nebusresearch.wordpress.com/2018/06/28/in-which-i-learn-a-thing-about-non-euclidean-geometries/#commentsThu, 28 Jun 2018 18:00:30 +0000http://nebusresearch.wordpress.com/?p=5499Continue reading "In Which I Learn A Thing About Non-Euclidean Geometries"]]>https://nebusresearch.wordpress.com/2018/06/28/in-which-i-learn-a-thing-about-non-euclidean-geometries/feed/9nebusresearch